I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
