Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
