i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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