Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
