So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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