Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
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Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
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Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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