quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
