I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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