I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
