I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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