Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
