chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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