Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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