grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
