Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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