You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
