I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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