I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
