awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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