also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i love accidental penises.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
