i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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