You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
