Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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