I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
