Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize