why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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