shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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