Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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