Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
