Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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