Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
