The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
