at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
