you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
