i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
