I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
