oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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