She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize