im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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