I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
