Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
