god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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