he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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