Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
