Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
