If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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