oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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