Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We are two peas in an std pod
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
