At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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