Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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