I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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