Swine flu. Run for my life!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
