My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
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I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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