Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
