at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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