What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
