Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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