Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just google imaged poop.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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