idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
