oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Randomize
