Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
